If you need Mothers/Fathers/Valentines day, you're doing it wrong

When I tell people that I have twins, they often ask how I manage. My immediate response is always 'my mum'. This week she has come over at 7.30am to help me get everyone up and my daughter off to school, taken me shopping whilst my car was in the garage and looked after the twins so I could get out the house and not have babies attached to me for a couple of hours. Even before the twins came along and she retired from a pretty full on job of being a nurse, she looked after my daughter one day a week. My daughter and I moved back in with her and my stepdad for a year, she was my birthing partner when my daughter was born, I see her at least once a week so I can get the food shopping done with as little fuss as possible. For all this, and so much more, I never stop appreciating all that she has done and continues to do for me. That's everyday of the year, not just the one designated by the card company and the people who make those God awful mix CD's containing no songs my mum would want to listen to.

It's scary really. I am only 5 years into a job that I have for life. Even now, after moving out and starting my own family, I am calling the dad's taxi/diy/haulage company. He's seen me through 2 house moves, shed and playhouse assembly, odd jobs, 4 am airport runs and various furniture collections. Ok, so maybe I didn't buy him a card in June, but that doesn't mean I don't think I have the best dad in the world.

Valentine's day is the one I have the biggest issue with. First of all, it's creepy. Going out on a prescribed night to prove your love for someone whilst a restaurant full of people do the same...that just seems a bit weird to me. Secondly, the sheer expense of the crap that Clintons will convince you that you need to buy is staggering. Give a week and it is all 25p. Lastly - the pressure! Whether you've been dating a week or year, just the idea that you have to do something (not just anything, it's got to be epic, unique, romantic) is ridiculous.

So here's my world changing manifesto. Buy/make someone you love a gift and give it to them because you love them. Write a poem, make them a cup of tea, turn the phone/tv off and give them 10 minutes of attention without any distractions. Don't wait for a special occasion - being alive is a special occasion and life is too fucking short.