My name is Sophie. I'm 27 and I am a feminist.
It has taken me some time to come to terms with this but as they say, the first step is acceptance... Until fairly recently, I had feminists pegged as angry, hairy legged, man haters that over analysed things to find some sort of sexist agenda. Which is why I was shocked at being bought The Women's Room and Opting In: Having A Child Without Losing Yourself as birthday presents a few years ago. I questioned my friends on why they had bought me feminist books as presents. I had never identified as been a feminist and was confused. I believed in that over arching term of 'Institutionalised Sexism' and naively assumed that everybody knew about it and disagreed with it, obviously. I am aware that what follows is going to make me sound like an egocentric maniac, but I guess I always thought of myself/my beliefs as the benchmark. 'This is what normal, civilised humans think and anything else is lefty airy, fairy, hippy nonsense/conservative, privileged crap'. I'd never thought of myself as having 'liberal' views on parenting, gender equality, abortion/euthanasia etc they were just my views and it was up to everyone else to be pigeonholed.
I carried on with my life not really giving it any thought. Got a bit miffed at people almost exclusively buying dolls and fairy stuff for my daughter when I wanted her to have Lego and a few cars. Being aware of the continued use semi naked women to advertise everything from bingo sites to spark plugs. Maybe I have a slight bias having a daughter. I don't want her to ever believe she has to act in a certain way just because she is a girl. She is very susceptible to the way that TV, magazines, toys etc are aimed at girls or boys depending on the content even at the tender age of 4. This targeting will continue. As a girl who grew up with sleek, skinny, pert models spread across every magazine I bought when I was slightly pudgey, curvy, frizzy haired mess (imagine a teenage 'Ugly Betty' minus glasses for visual reference). She has recently had a bit of trouble at pre school with a boy who has been pinching her. I did the usual parent thing of explaining that this is the way that boys sometimes act when they like someone. Then immediately checked myself and told her that if he ever did it again she was to scream really loud and tell him not to do it/tell a teacher. Telling her to stay away from that particular boy smacked too much of taking the blame away from his unacceptable behaviour. I guess I could be accused of over analysing the situation. Could this small incident of bullying really set her up for a life of being a victim? I doubt it, but it is the kind of thing I worry about as a parent.
It wasn't until I started to really use Twitter that I realised that there were other people out there that think like me. The 'Slut Walks', in particular this photo, was a real turning point for me. Surely people don't blame victims of rape for the crime committed against them anymore? That is as archaic as wearing a girdle. Everyone knows that rape is about power and dominance and nothing to do with lust. Another naive assumption. I then came across @nomorepage3 - an agenda I had long since agreed with and a petition I happily signed immediately after finding out about it. This lead me to @EverydaySexism a wonderfully tragic account of women's daily encounters with misogyny and sexual harassment. It was here that I really learnt that there is absolutely no over analysis needed to find examples of sexism. It's just one of those things, once you become aware of it, you see it everywhere. Which I do now - everywhere. Supermarket Christmas ads were rich pickings, every single one showing a women slaving over wrapping presents, cleaning, cooking the dinner with a triumphant male carving the turkey and then slumping on the sofa whilst said woman was washing up. Instructions to buy power tools and computer games, hairdryers and make up for men and women respectively. The New Year ones, if it is possible, are worse. I sat through 5 adverts in a row one night telling me lose weight, buy this brand of low calorie food, start this diet plan, be gorgeous enough to have Aunty Gok wanting to grope me...
Twitter, that social media wonder, has opened my eyes and I now have a brilliant collection of inspiring like minded feminists to follow. (That really helps with my sanity. Regular 'phew, I'm not the only one' moments) I don't know, nor am I interested, whether they shave their legs, armpits or even bikini lines (particularly the men). If they hate men, then that's their prerogative (I'm fairly sure they hate a few narrow minded women as well). It doesn't stop them from being intelligent, insightful, funny and warm human beings who are striving for their belief that women deserve the same respect and opportunities as men. And we do. We've fucking earned it.
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